For the past several weeks, I have been asking myself, “Should I return?” At times it has been more insistent, such as around the time of my last post but since then it has waned a little again. It is certainly a less frenzied question now than it was then.
My desire and interest to re-enter the markets has been fluctuating. This has as much to do with other things that I have been doing as it has with my own thoughts and feelings about the experiment that I had embarked on several months ago. At first, it was a desire to take a break, not just from any open positions but from everything in general. Indeed the month of October was a steady decline into complete burn-out. During the past few months, with work during the day and other projects such as my trading and this blog taking up my time afterwards, I had been burning the candle at both ends and it eventually caught up. A project I had been working on went live in October so that was my priority and the trading fell by the wayside.
At the tail end of October though, I think it had more to do with the fact that I had been out so long already, much longer than I had originally intended plus there was a nagging fear that I would lose everything. I must admit I don’t think I have completely overcome that fear but it is more in control. Add in a mix of other interests and personal projects and the time soon flies by. So we come to this week.
I have been slowly and haphazardly reintroducing myself to this world of trading by keeping an eye on a handful of markets and today I finally put in an order for a long position in Oil. Having already missed the boat a couple of times I was determined not to miss it again, then a little of the fear and probably some greed took hold and I moved my order much lower to the point that I felt sure it wouldn’t be hit today and possibly not for several days. Sure enough my original order would have been hit later in the day and at the close I would have been ahead. With my current account size, it would have made quite an impact.
So while I have re-entered the fray, it’s more on the edges, in the back, near the emergency exit and I probably only have a little toe inside the room at all. Still, it’s a start, but to where?